The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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