After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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