i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
