I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize