So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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