what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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