On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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