I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
