My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
