Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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