You smell like stripper and shame
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
