Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
