Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
