How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
