Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
