She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
