i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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