I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
