I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
