me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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