Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
