You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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