I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
