idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
