you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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