It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
