Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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