Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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