My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
