can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
