lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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