what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
