I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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