just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
