I hope mine doesn't look like that
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I deserve this hangover.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
