Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
