Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
