I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
