You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
