Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
