my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
