there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
