so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
