he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
