i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
