Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize