he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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