How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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