Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
