He is such a slut. More and more my type.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Vodka?
Forever.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
